Thursday, October 4, 2018

A Couple of Valthungian Folk Etymologies and Conspiracy Theories

The Valthungian calendar is rather complicated, containing a total of 30 overlapping months, and is really an amalgamation of three (or more) other calendar systems, including the standard Gregorian calendar and the Northeadish calendar. Among the various confusions this creates, we find that the name of the Gregorian month of July, Ǧulismēnaþs (“Julius’ Month”), which begins shortly after the Summer Solstice, bears a striking similarity to the Solar month of Sagittarius Ǧulis (“Yule”) which ends on the Winter Solstice. Add to this another similarity between the solar term of Aries Wyniamēnaþs (“Joyful Month”), beginning at the Vernal Equinox, and Libra Wīnmēnaþs (“Wine Month”) beginning at the Autumnal Equinox, and within a couple of generations, there are a large number of Grey-tongue people who believe that their ancestors the Goths either conquered or originally came to Europe from somewhere in the Southern Hemisphere, where the seasons were reversed.

In reality, these names have no relation to one another, and even the postulation that the Grey Tongues are in fact descended from any of the original Goths is suspect, but this does not stop arm-chair linguists and archaeologists from speculating. Most common candidates for a Southern Hemisphere Gothic origin are: Easter Island, Madagascar, Tierra del Fuego, and most inexplicably, the Antarctic Peninsula, where some claim the Goths dwelt from time immemorial, but eventually moved north as continental drift moved their homeland closer to the South Pole and it became too cold to continue living there. Of course, anyone with a little knowledge of geology will tell you that Antarctica has been pretty much right where it is now for quite a bit longer than humans have been on the planet – but facts have never been very useful deterrents to speculation!